February 25, 2011
Are You A Parent Or A Door Mat?
I sit quietly looking, but not looking, at the scene that is unfolding in front of me and repeating to myself-this is not your business, this is not your business. I do this for fifteen minutes in an effort to not jump from seat and scream, “Are you a mother or a door mat for the love of god?” I played that scenario out in my head and it ended badly for everyone involved, so I opted for pretending to read a magazine while a preschooler screamed and even hit her mother in the face. It took all I had folks!
She looked sweet and innocent at first but at the first sign of things not going her way, that child flew off the handle like a bottle rocket. Initially I thought mom could bring her back down to earth with a quite warning, so as to not make a scene, but that seemed to fuel the fire. Then came the full on screaming, stomping and jumping…it was the beginning of the end. Mom raised her voice and the child matched her, mom reached for flailing arms and legs in an unsuccessful attempt to control the tantrum. Now angry at mom for holding her back the little darling hauled off and smacked her in the face. Mom seemed more embarrassed than anything else; I remember noting she didn’t even seem surprised. I on the other hand was shocked; I’ve seen it on TV but never in person, especially with family. You can see it on the show Super Nanny, young children who not only disrespect and disobey their parents but push their paper-thin boundaries to the breaking point with violence.
In my head, and subsequent text messages to my husband, I went on about how do you allow your child to behave like that? What have you done, or not done, up to this point that lead to this complete disrespect for you as a person and your authority as a parent. So often I have heard these kids referred to as “bad” and while yes their behavior is bad, they are not bad. It’s is difficult for me to separate it, but the parents are not bad, just their parenting is bad…or lack thereof. Super Nanny Jo Frost has helped me to see that most of these parents just need to find their voice.
That brings me back to my question, “Are you a parent or a door mat?” In this case these people are family, how do you say just that, but in a way that allows everyone to still sit down together for holiday dinners?
My question to you is have you ever said something to a door mat parent? If so, how did that go over…my guess: like a ton of bricks? Are you a door mat parent? Is that something that you recognize in yourself, have you tried to change it or do you even want to? Has someone ever said anything to you about your parenting?
November 12, 2010
Blogging…The Names Have Been Changed To Protect The Innocent
As I sit down to write several topics pop into mind and though I know I can write endlessly about these issues, I wonder if I should. Where will I draw the line and how firm of a line will it be, will power is not my strong suit. If using no names other than my own can others be justifiably upset with me for my posts, people are upset with me all the time, but do I want to give them ammo. How much of my life do I want to share and at this point, seriously, this blog can hear the crickets chirping…strike that cricket chirp, there’s only one and he mostly keeps to himself .
If I write about my friends will I have any left? Writing about family brings about more drama, if that’s even possible! Writing about work is ill-advised and ground I won’t tread on, don’t bite the hand that feeds you, as they say. Writing about me means writing about the nouns (people, places, things) that affect me. So I write, what needs to be written and a la Dragnet the names will be changed to protect the innocent (and even the guilty) and wait to see how this thing plays out.
Can I Get A Sticky Piece? 