March 4, 2011
I Hate My Friend’s Kid…Now What?
Recently my hubby and I reconnected with an old friend we had lost touch with for several years. It was great catching up and planning get togethers but there is one problem…we can’t stand his kid! I know, it’s a major problem. In theory it’s a great thought, the kids can play and entertain themselves and we can have adult conversations…imagine that. Not only do I want to avoid that child like the plague I don’t want them around my little nugget to pick up on the bad behavior and attitude. I just can’t seem to find a solution other than phase this friend (and his demon spawn child) out.
We’ve already started avoiding gatherings and turning down invitations with quick but carefully crafted excuses. Part of me thinks that our friend knows something is up, but I truly don’t think he would ever suspect it has anything to do with problem child. My first thought is- can you really be that oblivious to your child’s behavior? Let’s say for argument’s sake you can be, how do you not notice the reaction of ALL of your friends and family? When you tell the story, “I don’t know why, they just stopped coming around” about various friends, over and over and at no point look to see what the common element of the story is that’s a problem.
I love children, almost all of them, it takes a downright nasty little bugger to bring me to the point of saying I can’t stand that kid. Generally I can empathize- parents are divorced, they’re unpopular in school, child has a condition, whatever. This kid is just a little jerk, rude and disrespectful to adults and children, – family, strangers, grandparents, friends, classmates…a delightful child. My husband and I do our best not to reprimand other people’s children (unless they are a danger to themselves or others) but this kid is pushing it. For some reason a lot of this child’s venom is directed at my husband, rude jokes, hitting, throwing things, and continual annoyances (repeated poking to the chest while you are having a conversation…enough to make you imagine throwing the child out of the yard over a six-foot fence) that drive you to lose your mind. Without screaming in the child’s face (because in the end this is a child and that would be wrong) how do you deal with this? Friends and family of ours have mentioned that they can’t stand the kid either and have passed on our events because they don’t want to deal…what’s the answer?
My question to you: Have you been forced to phase out a friend because you hate their kid? Is there an alternative to the phase out? Have you ever confronted a friend and said listen your kid is a monster and I/we can’t handle it…did blood shed ensue? Are you still friends?